27 February 2009

Math is like love: simple in theory, but easily complicated.

Today I did math homework for at least an hour and a half, and most of the time, I just wanted to cry. For some bit of understanding, please refer to my Twitter updates over the course of the hour: 1, 2, 3, then 4. There's are a reason I love something so completely opposite from math, and plan to make it my career.

23 February 2009

I want you to say whatever is on your mind because you know we have a 7-second delay.

Tonight's 81st Academy Awards made me see the film industry differently. Maybe it's the combination of my theatre class, the close attention I paid during the four hour show, or my new endeavors in writing, but I was able to distinguish the art in filmmaking like I've never really done before. I know it's always been there and I'm kind of an idiot for only just now noticing, but since the last few months of my life have been terribly involved in a certain genre of art, I can see why a night like Oscars is so important in the filmmakers' lives.

Something about tonight's show made me want to be a part of that industry. Maybe someday I'll be the one, accepting my screenwriter's award, clamoring onto my soapbox and, at some point, thanking the Academy, and my mom, and God.

Also, one day it'd be fun to meet Hugh Jackman and thank him for being so incredibly adorable all night long. That had to be exhausting.

22 February 2009

I was thinking how nothing lasts, and what a shame that is.

May I introduce you to the list of all the things I should be doing today?
  • studying for American lit midterm tomorrow
  • reading, quiz-taking, and essaying for American history
  • writing a criticism for my university's production of The Crucible
  • completing online homework for my math class
  • brainstorming/markup for my ten-page play
  • reading the Bible
Instead, I am:
  • listening to music on Pandora
  • thinking about spring break and the trip to New York City I'm taking with my roommates (in 17 days!)
  • wondering how I'm going to get my hair cut when I go home for spring break
  • thinking about the weird dream I had this morning, involving twin baby boys, Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and a Victorian-era finishing school
  • trying to conjure a way to find time for the Oscars tonight, and wishing I'd seen more Oscar-worthy movies this year
  • wondering why I like to put links in my blog posts -- though it can probably be attributed to my love for Wikipedia
  • wishing I wasn't too distracted by the other stories in my head to keep moving forward on the project I have running now
So, that's what's on my mind. I'll let you know how all that works out.

19 February 2009

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

I have friends who I know exclusively online. Out of the whole group, I've met one of them in person. The rest I connect with their senses of humor, their frequent tweets, and their profile pictures on Facebook.

When I write, sometimes I think of them. I think of how diverse they are, and I'm challenged to write for them, because they are book lovers like I am. When I can, I'm going to write a character into one of my novels who is collectively all these girls I know thanks to a podcast. This girl will be intelligent, witty, analytical, sensitive, and beautiful. And they'll be the first ones to buy my book in their Barnes & Nobles all across the country (and in Norway, too).

17 February 2009

Who, being loved, is poor?

Also, I forgot to mention that my Valentine's Day adventure turned out to be a really great night -- possibly the best February 14th I've ever had (which isn't saying much). If the relationships that were put into motion on Saturday night never pan out, at least I will always have the experience for writing material, entertainment for future readers who had a grim sort of Valentine's Day and need a little literary lovin'.

Which, honestly, is the way I try to look at everything nowadays. It's a nice outlook to have.

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

The past couple of days, I've been working on all the preparations to get the free proof copy of my NaNoWriMo novel from Amazon.com-owned self-publisher CreateSpace. It's been stressful, yet oddly exciting. It's really been great to experience this tiny little glimpse into the world of publishing -- what my life is, theoretically, going to be like if I choose it as my career.

On another note, I apologize for posting such concise messages the past couple weeks. I've been busier than ever, and writing/planning in my spare time. I'm still working on the same story as of late, but I'm nowhere near burnt out on it, which is a good sign?

Anyway, writing has been my award for myself only after accomplishing the day's tasks. So as I settle down now in my bed, I'm exhausted, but not really sleepy yet. So, most likely, I've got a couple paragraphs in me.

This is the right job for me.

14 February 2009

And I a maid at your window, to be your Valentine.

I have never, ever had a date on Valentine's Day. And today, I'm going on a very sketchy, blind-group-date with the friends of a friend of my friend, and my roommates. The whole ordeal has huge potential for a very impressive disaster, and, of course, the likelihood of presenting a whole evening of future writing material.

I have two months until I turn twenty. And in one month, I'll be in New York City.

I do, actually, really enjoy my life. Maybe that's just because it's Saturday and I slept in until 10:30.

11 February 2009

A natural ebb and flow in the creative process.

Today, after several days of struggling with a persistent and malicious case of writer's block, I was finally able to crank out a page and a half of conversational, relaxed summary.

It felt so good, and the material's actually something I'll be proud of in a few hours when I'm more awake.

08 February 2009

He neglected to write down his idea, preferring to finish his toast instead.

Silly me. I kind of thought after Wednesday's revelation I'd be able to go into a writing fury with my new-found direction. Instead, life went on with the usual writer's block, worrying about American history homework and my math exam and my sister's visit next weekend.

I had imagined an outpouring of dialogue and narrative, but instead, I've just been tediously (and slowly) outlining character backgrounds, working up to a new summary draft.

I won't get too spiritual on you, but I do kind of wonder what I'm doing wrong.

05 February 2009

This is my prayer in the desert, when all that's within me runs dry.

I don't really know how to explain what happened last night, but I'll try.

If you like to write, you probably understand what I mean when I say that some things inspire me to write in a sort of uncontrollable way. Certain songs, or movies, or games, or conversations with my friends... It's really a pretty fun way to live, with your imagination running rampant and free. But last night, our campus praise band played this song at Campus Church, and, not for the first time, a story began to take shape in my mind.

I don't know if it's the lyrics or the way the song sounds, or just the way God can move through things like music, but I realized last night why I was having such awful writer's block the past few days.

The story I'd had in my head wasn't making much sense. My characters didn't seem realistic, the plot was hitting a brick wall, and I had no motivation to try to work it out. I wasn't ready to give up, though, and now I see why God wasn't letting me give in. He had something different in mind, and I'm totally cool letting Him take the reins.

I don't know if that made sense. Hopefully, I got my point across.